how i plan to be a millionaire

Walking through Barnes and Noble on an extended lunchbreak, I noticed yet another damn haiku book. People everywhere are just throwing some syllables together and calling it a "collection" (and making a pretty penny off of it too, I'd imagine!).

So after participating in Secret Santa this week at work, I discovered I'm a pretty darn good poet. Here is a sample of "collected works" that you can expect to see in my first published book of poetry. And if I know you, I will personally sign your copy.

Untitled #1

Oh Secret Santa,
Who are you?
You read my blogs,
I know you do.

You leave me clues,
About the things I write.
Unless a myspace "friend"
Has given you insight....



Untitled #2

I broke my washing machine,
It's making a loud racket.
I put too much inside it,
Like a down comforter, and a jacket.



I can even change forms. I'm so versatile....

haiku #1

This font is wacked out.
Bold and italic won't leave.
Stupid computer.

haiku #2

Scooby-Dooby Doo
you are in my living room
solving mysteries



That's all. Just a little taste to leave y'all wanting more.

pissed

Let me explain....

The cat is pissing in my plants. I thought at first it was my lack of watering that was killing them. But hey, they've gone weeks without water and have always done just swell. That's when I caught him-red handed.
He jumped up on the rim, and copped a squat. And if you didn't already know it, cat piss ain't exactly good for the plants.
I'm at a loss. I don't know how to stop the squatting.

I do know however, this is very bad feng shui.